I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
birth control should be required to get into college
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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