I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
