dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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