Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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