if i can run in heels then i can drive
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize