You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize