Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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