They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
