Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
