My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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