Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
