; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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