I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
