3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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