shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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