While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
