Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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