If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize