There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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