I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
