yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
