Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Green mimosas i think yes
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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