So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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