im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
