How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
