A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
