we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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