if i can run in heels then i can drive
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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