I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize