i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize