you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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