What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
