She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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