This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
