sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
