You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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