I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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