Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize