she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
