My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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