I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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