Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
