if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
