I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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