Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
