That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
