He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it wasn't lemon gatorade
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
