I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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