im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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