Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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