I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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