if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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