why didn't you poke me back
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
