I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
