Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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