I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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