do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
