Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
