Pappa wants mamma naked
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize