I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
