community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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