OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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