I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
